Category Archives: Christian Humor

Does God Exist?

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Read and Think! There are rumors that this encounter was between Albert Einstein and his Professor…i don’t know how true that is…but it’s nice to think that Albert Einstein believed in God and had Faith!

Enjoy!

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Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, you believe in GOD ?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor : Is GOD good ?

Student : Sure.

Professor: Is GOD all powerful ?

Student : Yes.

Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent.)

Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Is satan good ?

Student : No.

Professor: Where does satan come from ?

Student : From … GOD …

Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student : Yes.

Professor: So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer.)

Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, who created them ?

(Student had no answer.)

Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?

Student : No , sir.

Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.

Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.

Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Professor: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?

Professor: Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn’t.

(The lecture theater became very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?

Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, well you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?

Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ?

Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.

Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class was in uproar.)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?

(The class broke out into laughter. )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.

Student : That is it sir … Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.

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JubileeNCBlog Team

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Christian Humor

Two Pastors wives were visiting and sewing their husbands pants. One wife said: My husband is just beside himself, he does not know what to do anymore and he is so tired and depressed he said he is ready to just give up and resign.

The other wife said: I am sorry to hear that because my husband has never been happier. Our membership is growing and we are out of our financial burden, we have such a large and loving congregation. Life could not be any better than it is right now.

One woman was mending the seat of her husbands pants, the other was mending the knees.

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An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps. “Where would you like to sit?” he asked politely.

“The front row please.” she answered.

“You really don’t want to do that”, the usher said. “The pastor is really boring.”

“Do you happen to know who I am?” the woman inquired.

“No.” he said.

“I’m the pastor’s mother,” she replied indignantly.

“Do you know who I am?” he asked.

“No.” she said.

“Good”, he answered.

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Unfortunately many homes, yes even so-called Christian homes, are like the one in which the little girl pointed to the Bible on the mantle that was never opened, and said to her mother, “Whose book is that?”

Her mother quite startled by her daughters question replied, “Why honey, don’t you know? That is God’s book!” 

The child demonstrating that she had a very practical turn to her mind said, “Don’t you think that we had better give it back to him? No one around here ever reads it.”

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May your day be filled with Laughter!

JubileeNCBlog Team


Laugh a Little!..

It’s another week day! Laugh a little…make someone smile! Jesus is good!

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The Virgin Mary?

The little girl was sitting with her grandmother, who had presented
her with her first little children’s Bible, in an easy-to-read translation, when
she was very young.
Now, a decade or so later, the elderly
lady was ready to spend a few sweet moments handing down the big old family
Bible, in the time-honored King James Version, to her only grandchild.
Understandably excited, the youngster was asking a number
of questions, both about the family members whose births and deaths were
recorded therein, and about various aspects of the Scriptures themselves.
Her grandmother was endeavoring to answer all the child’s
questions in terms she could understand, but the one that stopped her cold was
this sincere inquiry:
“Which Virgin was the mother of
Jesus? Was it the Virgin Mary, or the King James virgin?”

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Where is God?

Two little boys were best friends at church, but they both had a reputation for getting into trouble. One Sunday, one of the boys was home sick, but the other boy, not wanting to let his friend down, was twice as bad as normal.
As he was running through the sanctuary after church, the pastor grabbed him and angrily said, “Where’s God?!”
The little boy was frightened and didn’t know what to say.
The pastor continued, “I want you to go home and think about it and I don’t want you to come back until you can tell me where God is.”
The boy went home and called his sick friend on the telephone. “Guess what,” he said. “They’ve lost God, and they’re trying to blame that one on us, too.”

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Letters to God:

Dear God,
In Sunday School they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? – Jane

Dear God,
I think about You sometimes even when I’m not praying. – Elliot

Dear God,
Did You really mean “do unto others as they do unto you?” Because if you did, then I’m going to fix my brother. – Darla

Dear God,
I didn’t think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday. That was cool! – Eugene

Dear God,
I read the Bible. What does “begat” mean? Nobody will tell me. – Allison

Dear God,
Are you really invisible or is that a trick? – Lucy

Dear God,
Is it true my father won’t get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house?  – Anita

Dear God,
Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? – Norma

Dear God,
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don’t You just keep the ones You have now? – Cindy

Dear God,
Who draws the lines around countries? – Nan

Dear God,
The bad people laughed at Noah – “You made an ark on dry land you fool”. But he was smart, he stuck with You. That’s what I would do. – Edward

Dear God,
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? – Neil

Dear God,
What does it mean You are a Jealous God? I thought You had everything. – Robert

Dear God,
Thank You for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. – Joyce

Dear God,
Why is Sunday School on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest.  – Tom

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May your day be filled with laughter!

JubileeNCBlog Team

 


Gospel Humor

We found these on www.angusday.org and thought they were really funny! Also, angusday is a great bible study resource! Enjoy!

Can you tell (before going to the website) what verses in Matthew they are from?

It’s Friday!!! *doing my happy dance*

Matthew10v24to33_2002

 

Matthew10v37to42_2008

 

Matthew11v02to11_2001

 

Matthew11v02to11_2010

 

Matthew11v25-30_2011

 

Matthew11v25to30_2002

 

Mattnew10v37to42_2011

See you at church on Sunday!

JubileeNCBlog Team